Dear Me.

My 16th year of living was the hardest. I wish I could go back and give advice to myself. So, if in the future we can teleport (fingers crossed) I would hope my super cute self would be able to read this.

Dear Jerilyn,

Welcome to the sophomore year of high school. Can you believe you are a sophomore? Now that I am 8 years older we need to discuss the year you are about to have. It won't be easy.

This month (October), 2 weeks before your birthday your best friend will go to homecoming with your ex-boyfriend. It will hurt, I promise. You will write in your journal expressing your heartache...you need to remember that it is your best friend and she has no intentions of making you sad. 

So much drama will happen in cheer. It is hard being co-captain when so many others wanted the spot. You need to stay positive and try to incorporate everyone in decision making. These girls will be your best friends and you will be around them for a few more years, so do not burn any bridges. 

November will be the hardest month of your entire life. Your sister will have her baby and give it up for adoption. This will devastate you. It won't be easy watching the process and imagining how hard it must be for your sister, but you need to stay strong and be involved. When you are in the room and she is about to start pushing, just leave, or you will pass out. Remind her you are sorry for yelling at her and telling her she is a guest in your house. You do not mean it and you love her. 

You struggle with your ex boyfriend. You will cry daily during lunch by the stairs. You won't have friends. You will feel alone. You will cry on your bed and your mom will beg you to tell her what is wrong. It is time to open up. People do love you. 

Later that month you will have to start going to a psychiatrist. Do not lie to her. She will help you so much. She will remind you of all the amazing things you can become. You will see her about 6 times and then you will feel 100% better and more confident. Remind your step dad you love him for taking you every Sunday to see her.

In December your mom will have an emergency hysterectomy. You will have to take her and then drive to school with a permit. You will survive and she will recover! 

January is a breakthrough. Be grateful you are no longer allowed to see your ex. It will be hard. You will see him daily and he will have the same friends as you. It is time to move on. You are strong. 

February you will start liking a new boy, but will be embarrassed to admit it... This might be the best idea. Easiest way to get over the last one. As you like him, remember who you are and what you stand for. Even when your new friends and boyfriend make bad choices, you need to make good ones. It will be hard, but worth it! 

This boy will break up with you for another girl. His lost. Remember that. I am sure he will regret that decision for years. 

Cherish your best friends. Especially Sydney. You will come to find out she will always be there for you so do not be afraid to let her know how you are feeling. 

Your family loves you. You will realize this in November when you have the hardest time loving yourself when you just want to hurt yourself. Your brother, Drew, will always protect you and Ron will fight for you to feel better. You will never explain to your friends and family what you went through, but remember everyone cares. 

Junior year is around the corner and it will be a blast. You will find a new confidence and your group of friends will grow and strengthen you during the rest of high school! Never forget your worth and always remember how loved you are!

You will grow up to love yourself. One day you will smile and laugh really loud for endless hours. Some day you will marry the most amazing man that loves you for everything you are. Hold on to this and never forget your worth. You deserve so much. You will be happy, I promise 

Also, I love you.

-Jerilyn