The title reminds me of one of my favorite shows to watch as a child....Married With Children. I remember being upset when the show started airing at 9 pm instead of 8 pm and my mom would not let us stay up to watch it.....Lets just say I was never big on watching cartoons.
I have had many conversations lately about marriage.
I have friends about to get engaged, some about to get married, and some getting divorced.
It is crazy how different each occurrence is. Currently, I am heading into my 3rd year of marriage. I think that is a huge step. Lets be honest with ourselves, that rarely happens these days. I know plenty of people who have gotten divorced already.
I am trying to fathom what happens in our lives that make us in the end separated from the one person we thought we could not live without?
I am a firm believer that we could live a completely happy life with a plethora of different individuals, but in the end you need to be with someone that makes you want to be a better person and always stands by your side.
There was one main reason I waited for my husband while he was on his mission for our church. I never wanted to see him hurt. Even to this day whenever he is sad or worried it makes me anxious. I use to have bad anxiety attacks when we first got married. I hated seeing him stress and it would make me a little crazy. I have finally controlled my anxiety, thankfully, but I still get worried whenever he has any conflict in his life.
I have never felt like this towards anyone in my life. I grew up pretty heartless. My mom would say,"You don't have a heart" or "One day you will cry"...
I think it is crazy living day to day with the same person and never expecting yourself to get bored. I think that is one of the reasons relationships are not lasting. Don't kid yourself! Marriage is not always super fun or exciting! Most days Brandeis comes home and lays down and then eventually we wake up and start all over. We don't always go on super rad dates and laugh all night at How I Met Your Mother. I mean, we do that often, but what about the 150 other days of the year where you are just going through the motions of life? Life is hard and tiring.
A friend the other day said, "THIS IS NOT LIKE THE MOVIES!" and yes she had raised her voice.
I think that is the main reason so many things are failing when it comes to relationships. Most people expect waaaaayyyy too much. We need to simmer down and realize that not every day is going to be perfect and eventually you will be upset with the person you said you will love and be with forever. Brandeis upsets me. I know right? He seems like a gem. Well, he is not and sometimes he makes mistakes. I love him completely and I plan on loving him forever and ever!
I have been upset so much lately because I feel our generation does not know what it is like to work for something. We have all, at one point, been given way too much. We all have the latest gadgets and the nicest clothes. (thanks parents) BUT this has made us picture the real world as something that it is not. It is not easy and nothing is just handed to us anymore. So many people spend the first year of their "no longer under parent control" life, married. (I am saying this since most people I know get married way too fast and have never really experienced life.) How hard do you think that is for them?? To finally be able to make your own choices, but also deal with all the hardships and challenges of life WHILE trying to build a relationship with someone you do not really completely know?
Rough.
I do not envy any of you. Yes, I was married right before I turned 22, but I also lived on my own for 3 years and paid my own bills (some months my mom did help me, but that made me learn so much). I do have a husband that, besides his mission, never lived on his own and always had help and guidance from his parents. This made our first few months of marriage very hard. I knew a lot about hardships since I was poor throughout college and had to figure out how to pay my bills with not enough money in my account. My husband never had to experience this. He would tell me we can't "spend any money this week" and then I almost run out of gas since I thought we had no money when really, we did, he just wanted to be cautious. Our understanding of when we are "poor" was completely different.
I have grown up so much since the beginning of our marriage. I am grateful we have moved past all the beginning of marriage hardships and were able to stand by each other in everything. This world is only getting harder. It gives me peace knowing I have someone that will always be by me and able to help me through everything.
I am grateful we have decided to wait to grow our family. I have learned to love Brandeis more since we have been married and I think having someone in our lives to take up my attention would have robbed me from so many good experiences with him. I know having a baby is a blessing and I am happy for all my friends that have had babies or are having them soon, but I am confident we have made the best choice by waiting! Before we have a baby we will have at-least 3 great years behind us that has allowed us to grow stronger together.
I guess my main point is.....quit giving up on love and make sure you are fighting for that one person that is perfect for your needs! Do not settle. Do not rush it! In the end we all have someone that will make us completely happy and hold our hands through all the bad that is going to eventually happen.
Enjoy falling in love, you will eventually just be in love and will never have a first kiss, rush of holding hands for the first time, or any of those super exciting things again. So, enjoy it!
-Jerilyn
